Etiquette & Special Occasions

The following are a number of pointers to help you understand the Dutch way of life.

Etiquette

Getting acquainted: When meeting family, friends and acquaintances it is common that everyone gives each other three kisses on alternating cheeks. Men in general shake each other’s hand.

Conversation: The Dutch are known for being straightforward (which is sometimes experienced as rudeness) and there isn’t a single topic that cannot be discussed in a informal setting. The only thing that is not done is to ask a Dutch acquaintance how much he or she earns.

Doing Business: The no-nonsense culture means there’s not much room for chitchatting. You shake hands, introduce yourself and talk business. Often you’re immediately called by your surname or first name, even if you’re the managing director.

It is not done to start negotiations all over again after a contract has been signed. To the Dutch a contract means the end of the negotiations: agreed is agreed. Spoken agreemenys, invitations and promises are often taken literally.

Presents: In Holland, it is a costum to bring along a present, not only to a birthday,  but also when you’re invited for dinner to someone’s house. This could be a book, flowers, chocolates or bottle of wine. If you receive a present, you’re expected to unwrap it straight away.

Food: Food doesn’t play a very important role in the Dutch culture. Breakfasts are often skipped, lunch is a simple meal of bread, dairy products and fruit, and dinner is mostly potatoes, vegetables and a piece of meat. Coffee and tea are enjoyed throughout the day.

Dinner is usually between 18.00 and 19.00 p.m. Restaurants often close their kitchen around nine o’clock.

Special Occasions

Birthday: Most people celebrate their birthday with family and friends. The birthday boy or girl receives presents, while guests enjoy cake and drinks. A fiftieth birthday is always celebrated  with a big party. Men whose fiftieth birthday it is are called Abraham, while women are referred to as Sarah on their fiftieth, in reference to the Bible characters of the same name.

Marriage: A civil ceremony is required to get married. A marriage in the church is traditional. Guests are often divided in ‘daytime’ and ‘evening’ guests. The latter are only invited for the party or reception. The Netherlands was the first country to permit gay marriage.

Birth of a Child: When a child is born you are served a biscuit rusk topped with blue or pink aniseed comfits, called ‘mice’. The Dutch often place a wooden or inflatable stork in the front garden to announce to the world that a child has been born.

Funeral: Typical to the character of the Dutch, a funeral isn’t seen as something to make a big fuss about. Although custom funeral services are gaining popularity, the traditional funeral is most common.